Tell Me Something Happy Before I Go To Sleep
by winter's-lion
Summary: Reeling from the death of their father, Fili comforts his little brother. One-shot, based on the children's book of the same title, by Joyce Dunbar and Debi Gliori


_TA 2869_

The night after their father's abrupt death, Kili cried himself to sleep. Fili, sleepless, but too weary to grieve any longer, lay still and listened to his younger brother sob, staring blankly into the darkness that surrounded him. When Kili finally fell into the blissful oblivion of sleep, Fili felt the silence so oppressive that he almost wished that Kili were still awake.

When the morning sun broke through the window curtains, Fili emerged from a brief, fitful sleep, feeling, if it were possible, more tired and worn-down than he had during the night. Looking across the room to his younger brother's bed, he could see that Kili looked similarly weary. The little dwarf was curled on his side; his dark eyes were ringed in a red and long waves of hair knotted across his face.

"Did you sleep?" Fili whispered sympathetically into the fragile silence of their shared room.

Brown eyes snapped up to meet blue and clung on like a life-line. "A little," Kili whispered back, his throat still sore from the clog of tears caught there.

* * *

A weary day of struggling to cope fell away to another night, and a mournful Dis tucked her sons into bed, holding each one close so that she could smell their familiarity before leaving them alone.

For a few hours, Fili waited for the habitual, even breathing that signified his brother's slumber; it never came. The room remained silent and still. Then, nearing the early morning hours, Fili heard something move.

He caught his breath and held it, straining his ears to comprehend what he couldn't see in the lack of light. The soft thump of Kili's footfalls approached Fili's bed until Fili could feel Kili's proximity. A small hand touched his shoulder.

"Fili?" Kili's quiet voice quavered. "Are you awake?"

Fili propped himself up on his elbow. "Yeah."

Kili swallowed. "I can't sleep. Can I try here? With you?"

"Why?"

"I-I'm scared. Without Papa here to protect us, what if orcs attack? What if we're all eaten by Wargs? There might even be one under my bed!"

Fili suppressed a groan at his brother's active imagination. He threw back his quilt and allowed the smaller dwarf to crawl in next to him. "Now go to sleep.

Kili pressed his back to Fili's. "I don't want to," he admitted in a small, shame-riddled voice.

"Aren't you tired?"

"Well, yes. But what if something happens while we're sleeping? What if I have a bad dream?"

Fili could feel Kili's body shivering. "Think of something happy," he whispered.

A few quiet minutes passed, and Fili began to think that Kili had fallen asleep. He was proven wrong, when Kili broke the silence again. "I can't think of anything."

"Nothing at all?" Fili countered, stifling a yawn. Kili's warmth next to him was making him pleasantly drowsy. "Aren't you comfortable?"

"Yes, I'm comfortable."

"That's a happy thought. Here's another: Mama's in the other room, ready to wake up tomorrow morning to give you a hug."

"That's happy," Kili agreed, beginning to catch on. "And you'll still be here tomorrow."

"I will."

Kili snuggled closer. "That's happy, too."

* * *

It became something of an evening ritual for them. Into the darkness of their room, Kili would whisper to Fili, "Tell me something happy before I go to sleep." Together they would dictate a list of happy thoughts, counting their blessings and voicing hopes until one or both brothers fell asleep. For years, they continued compiling happy thoughts into the safety of their dark room.

* * *

_TA 2941_

"Fili."

He hears Kili murmuring next to him, but he's comfortable and he doesn't want to open his eyes.

"Fili… are you awake?"

Kili's voice is hoarse, and close to Fili's ear. "Nn," Fili groans, dragging himself from the soft darkness he had been sinking into at the edges of his consciousness. "What?"

Noises start to register in his ears, and suddenly he becomes aware that he is surrounded by a din of many bodies clashing, screaming, writhing. Metal on metal, bowstrings snapping, wolf howls.

All this is immediately forgotten in a wave of burning heat. Fili clenches his teeth and his hand convulses, his fingers closing automatically over the shaft of a black arrow that protrudes from just over his hip. The pain is blinding, and he feels himself curling in on himself.

"Fili," Kili's voice groans beside him, and something moist touches Fili's cheek.

Fili takes a few deep breaths and forces his fingers open, releasing the arrow that grates against the edge of his armor. "Kili," he murmurs, "are you alright?"

Kili's hand is on Fili's cheek, his fingers slick with a mixture of black orc's blood and red dwarf's. When he sees Fili's eyes open, he smiles weakly up at his brother. His dark eyes are glassy and he pants in hitched breaths.

"Kili!" Fili gasps, his own pain forgotten as panic numbs him. He struggles to his knees and drags himself closer to his brother's side. "Where are you hurt?" he demands, but it is a pointless command; he can see a hole gaping at the base of Kili's neck, as if a Warg had tried to tear his throat out. The dark wound and the splay of his black hair surrounding his pale face leave Kili coloured like death.

Kili's eyes widen as he struggles to focus on his brother's face. "I'm… scared," he admits quietly between gasped breaths.

"Sh," Fili whispers, his fingers hovering hopelessly over Kili's neck.

"Fili… tell me something… happy… before I… before I fall asleep."

Fili barks a choked laugh. They haven't played this game for years. "Well," he says slowly, stalling as he flounders to think of something happy when they lie in a battlefield. He can feel tears accumulating in the back of his throat already. "We've found our home, Erebor. And Thorin will finally take his rightful kingdom."

"That's happy," Kili confirms with a small smile.

"Dis is waiting for us." Fili collects his brother into his arms and rests Kili's head on his lap. "She's waiting for us to get home. She'll be there when you wake up in the morning."

Kili is quiet for a moment. Fili can see tears shining in his wide, brown eyes. "That's happy," Kili whispers brokenly.

"And I'm here," Fili says, but his voice cracks. He swallows thickly, hugging his brother closer despite the pain in his side. "I'm here," he repeats. The dam holding his tears back breaks and they spill into Kili's hair.

Kili's bloodstained fingers cling to Fili's sleeve. "That's happiest of all." His throat rattles with a few more breaths, and then he sighs. "Goodnight, Fili."

Fili puts his hand over Kili's. "Goodnight."

* * *

_A/N: This is what happens when you listen to Taylor Swift's 'Safe and Sound' while mulling over Fili and Kili's imminent demise. Oh, the feels ;n;_


End file.
